Divorce is one of the hardest things you'll go through. I know that — not just professionally, but because I've sat across from hundreds of people at some of the most difficult moments of their lives. After more than twenty years in family law, I made a deliberate shift: I now focus my practice on mediation, because in most cases it produces better outcomes for everyone involved, especially when children are part of the picture.

I spent years as a litigator. I know what a contested divorce costs — in money, in time, and in the toll it takes on families. When both parties leave the courtroom, even the one who "won" is often exhausted, financially strained, and no closer to a workable relationship with their former spouse. Mediation changes that dynamic. You stay in control of the decisions. You reach agreements together. And you move forward faster.

Divorce involves more than just ending a marriage. Through mediation, we work through all of it together:

• Division of assets and debts, including real estate, retirement accounts, and business interests
• Child custody and parenting plans
• Child and spousal support
• Any other matters specific to your family's situation

I'm a California State Bar Certified Family Law Specialist with over twenty years of experience. Complex financial situations, business ownership, long-term marriages — these are cases I've handled throughout my career, and I bring that depth of knowledge to every mediation I conduct.

Most divorce mediations follow a straightforward process, though the number of sessions varies depending on the complexity of the issues involved.

We start with an initial consultation where I learn about your situation, explain how the mediation process works, and answer any questions you have. If mediation is a good fit, we schedule our first session.

In sessions, we work through each issue — assets, debts, custody, support — one at a time. I help both parties understand the relevant legal framework, identify where there's agreement, and work through the areas where there isn't. Nothing is final until everything is final. You can take time between sessions to think, consult with your own attorney, or gather financial information.

Once we've reached agreement on all issues, I prepare a written settlement agreement. That agreement gets filed with the court and, once approved by a judge, becomes a legally binding court order. Most of my clients never have to appear in court at all.

Significantly less than litigation — that's the honest answer.

A contested divorce that goes to court routinely costs each party $15,000 to $30,000 or more in attorney fees, and complex cases can run far higher. The cost of mediation is shared between both parties rather than paid separately, and the process is faster, which means fewer billable hours overall.

I won't quote fees here because every case is different — a straightforward divorce with few assets looks very different from one involving a business, a long marriage, or disputed custody. What I can tell you is that in twenty years of practice, I have never seen a mediated divorce cost more than a litigated one.

Most mediations resolve in a matter of weeks to a few months. Simpler cases with limited assets and no children can sometimes wrap up in two or three sessions. More complex cases — business interests, real estate, disputed custody, long marriages with significant assets — may take longer.

Compare that to a contested divorce in court, which in California can easily take one to three years from filing to final judgment, depending on the court's calendar and how much the parties are willing to fight.

The timeline in mediation is largely in your hands. When both parties come prepared and in good faith, things move quickly. I'll give you a realistic sense of what to expect at our first consultation based on your specific situation.

Mediation works when both parties are willing to participate honestly — it doesn't require you to be on good terms. Most of my clients aren't. What it requires is a willingness to work toward a resolution rather than a fight. If you're not sure whether mediation is the right path for your situation, I'll tell you honestly in our first conversation.

Serving Santa Rosa, Sonoma County, and Northern California. To schedule a free consultation, call (707) 525-8800 or email Tidwell@perrylaw.net.