Family Law Mediation FAQ

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Family Law Mediation FAQ

What is family law mediation?

A: Mediation is a process where a neutral third party — the mediator — helps both parties in a family law dispute reach their own agreements outside of court. The mediator doesn't decide the outcome; they guide the conversation. It's commonly used for divorce, child custody, spousal support, and property division.

How is mediation different from going to court?

A: In court, a judge makes the decisions. In mediation, you and your spouse make them together with the help of a trained mediator. Mediation is typically faster, less expensive, and less adversarial — and the agreements you reach tend to hold up better long-term because both parties had a hand in creating them.

Is mediation legally binding?

A: Agreements reached in mediation can be formalized into a legally binding settlement agreement and submitted to the court for approval. Once a judge signs off, the agreement carries the same weight as any court order.

What if we can't reach an agreement in mediation?

A: Mediation is voluntary, and no one is forced to agree to anything. If you're unable to reach a resolution, you still have the option to pursue the matter through the court system. Many people find that even partial agreements in mediation reduce the scope of any litigation that follows.

Is everything discussed in mediation confidential?

A: Yes. Mediation sessions are private and confidential. What's discussed in mediation generally cannot be used as evidence in court. This allows both parties to speak openly without fear that their words will be used against them later.

How much does mediation cost compared to divorce litigation?

A: Costs vary by case, but mediation in California is almost always significantly less expensive than contested litigation. A litigated divorce can cost each party $15,000–$30,000 or more in attorney fees. Mediation typically costs a fraction of that — and the total is shared between both parties rather than paid separately. In short, mediation is the lower-cost alternative to litigation for most California families going through divorce or separation.

How long does the mediation process take?

A: It depends on the complexity of the issues involved. Some cases resolve in a few sessions over a matter of weeks. More complex cases involving business assets, real estate, or contested custody can take longer. Either way, mediation is almost always faster than waiting for a court date.

Can mediation work if my spouse and I don't get along?

A: Yes. You don't need to be on good terms to mediate successfully — you just need to be willing to participate in good faith. A skilled mediator is trained to manage conflict and keep conversations productive, even when emotions run high.

Can we use mediation for child custody disputes?

A: Yes. Mediation is widely used for parenting plans, custody schedules, decision-making authority, and other child-related issues. Many courts in California actually encourage or require mediation before a custody hearing.

Do both spouses have to agree to mediation?

A: Mediation works best when both parties are willing participants. If one party is resistant, it may still be worth having an initial conversation — many people become more open once they understand what the process actually involves and how it differs from going to court.

Can I still have an attorney if I choose mediation?

A: Absolutely. Having an attorney review any agreement before you sign is always a good idea. Some people consult with an attorney between mediation sessions. The mediator's role is to remain neutral — they don't represent either party.

What areas do you serve?

A: We serve families throughout Sonoma County and the state of California, including Santa Rosa, Petaluma, Windsor, Healdsburg, Sebastopol, and surrounding communities. Sessions are available in person at her Santa Rosa office or state wide by video for clients who prefer it

Do you offer a free consultation?

A: Yes. We offer a free initial consultation to discuss your situation and whether mediation might be a good fit. You can reach us at (707) 525-8800

What types of cases does Marla Keenan-Rivero handle?

A: Our practice focuses exclusively on family law mediation, including divorce mediation, child custody and parenting plans, child support, spousal support, property division, and stepparent adoption mediation.

Is collaborative divorce the same as mediation?

No — they're related but structured differently. In collaborative divorce, each spouse hires a specially trained attorney and the four of you negotiate together as a group; if you can't reach an agreement, both attorneys must withdraw and you start over with new litigation counsel. In mediation, you and your spouse work with a single neutral mediator instead of two separate advocates, which is typically faster and less expensive. See our full comparison of collaborative divorce vs. mediation for a closer look at both.

Do you offer divorce mediation specifically in Santa Rosa?

Yes. Divorce mediation Santa Rosa cases are among the most common Marla handles, ranging from straightforward, low-conflict separations to more complex matters involving jointly owned businesses, retirement accounts, or shared real estate. Sessions are available in person at her Santa Rosa office or by video for clients who prefer it.

What is the downside to divorce mediation?

Mediation isn't the right fit for every situation. It works best when both spouses are willing to negotiate

honestly and in good faith — if one spouse withholds financial information, refuses to compromise, or

uses the sessions to pressure the other, mediation can stall or break down entirely. It also isn't

appropriate in cases involving domestic violence or a significant power imbalance between spouses,

since a fair negotiation requires both parties to speak freely without fear. And because the mediator

remains neutral, mediation doesn't replace independent legal advice — each spouse should still have an

attorney review any agreement before signing. For couples who are cooperative and informed, though,

these downsides rarely outweigh mediation's advantages in cost, speed, and control over the outcome.

What shouldn't I say during mediation?

There's no need to walk into mediation with a script, but a few habits tend to work against you. Avoid

ultimatums like “I'll never agree to that” — mediation is a negotiation, and rigid positions early on make it

harder to find common ground later. Try not to rehash old arguments or assign blame; the mediator is

there to help you solve problems, not referee the marriage. Be cautious about promising outcomes you

can't guarantee, such as what a judge would decide if the case went to court — that's outside what

mediation is meant to determine. And avoid discussing the mediation sessions publicly or on social

media, since maintaining confidentiality helps both sides negotiate honestly. Staying focused on the

issues in front of you, rather than the history behind them, is what makes mediation move faster and

produce agreements that hold up.

When is divorce mediation not recommended?

Mediation isn’t recommended in every situation. It’s generally not a good fit when

there’s a history of domestic violence or coercive control, since fair negotiation depends

on both spouses being able to speak freely without fear. It’s also not appropriate when

one spouse refuses to disclose assets or income honestly, or won’t negotiate in good

faith — mediation only works if both sides are transparent. And if your situation requires

an immediate court order, such as an emergency restraining order or urgent custody

protection, that has to go through the court system rather than mediation. Outside of

those situations, most couples can mediate successfully even when the relationship is

strained.

How much does child custody mediation cost?

Child custody mediation costs typically scale with the number of sessions needed, not the type of case. A straightforward parenting plan may take just one or two sessions, while more complex custody matters — such as disputes over decision-making authority or a detailed parenting schedule — may take more. Because you're paying for time rather than a flat case fee, most families find the total cost stays predictable and manageable.

Marla Keenan-Rivero Family Law & Mediation

(707) 525-8800

438 1st St, #400, Santa Rosa, CA 95401

Business Hours

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Tuesday:  9:00am - 5:00pm

Wednesday:  9:00am - 5:00pm
Thursday:  9:00am - 5:00pm

Friday:  Closed

Saturday:  Closed

Sunday:   Closed

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The information on this website is provided for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.